Monday, 23 March 2009

Is this really me?

Just read a couple of blog posts from mums relating to Mother's Day and how odd it feels to describe themselves as mothers, especially if they are experiencing the day with this status for the first time. I have to say I totally agree. Sometimes it seems as if Gemma is too beautiful and amazing to have been produced by such juveniles as Ali and myself - and yes though I am (hem) 35 I do still feel like a child sometimes. I certainly don't feel a huge amount older than I did at, say, 20, just with more experiences under my belt and a few lines round the eyes (but not a single grey hair yet, astoundingly enough).

It feels like we're settling into some sort of a routine at least, even though I still wake up most days with a mild tinge of panic around me of the 'what are we going to do today' variety. As someone who previously lived her life in a very orderly, structured way, even in so far as getting on the same train seat every day, it is often a very weird feeling to have nothing really planned. And so those lunches with friends, even if invariably eaten cold and one-handed; or the spontaneous walk by the river; or even the postnatal fitness class we're going to today, are all welcome distractions from the slightly fraudulent thoughts running through my head on a daily basis.

Mother's Day was quite nice though. A stunning bouquet of flowers and a very sweet card from Gemma (with a little help from Daddy, though charmingly with the threat of taking the money from her child trust fund account to pay for them. I assume this was a joke) and a day to potter in the garden and sort out all Gemma's clothes, while Ali babysat in between feeds. Not the most self-indulgent or pampering day perhaps, but it'll certainly do for now.

2 comments:

Ali said...

By the time next Mother's Day rolls round you will have learned something vital. That is to never ever refer to a father looking after his offspring as 'babysitting'.

Because that way maternal madness lies, not to mention guilt, lack of personal time and insanity. I speak from experience! It's parenting, and its a two man (possibly more if you can rope them in) job for sure!

Happy first Mother's Day.

Nick said...

We call it 'parental duties' but if you are 'babysitting' can you tell us your hourly rates before you come to Calgary...We want to shop around and get a good deal.....

Happy First Mothers Day and we look forward to your guys First fathers Day....You'll be in Calgary and Erin has already offered to let us go off to the Pub...we'll I have 2 months to work on it....

Cheers

Nick (and Erin peering over his shoulder....)