Friday, 5 August 2011

Spot the difference

Well, a socking great bump for one.

Yes, at almost 13 weeks, I am pregnant again! with some significant differences to last time. I suppose first off is the fact I'm blogging it much earlier than with my pregnancy with Gemma, where I started writing at 15 weeks, but didn't put any posts live until after we'd had the anomaly scan at around 21 weeks. Having had a very early miscarriage before my successful pregnancy, I was a little paranoid that things wouldn't go to plan, so even though we started telling friends and family after the nuchal scan at 11 weeks, I held off from announcing anything online. I'd done quite a bit of research into baby stuff, pregnancy facts etc but hadn't yet started reading the wealth of parenting forums, mummy blogs, and online baby resource sites that there are out there. It seemed a bit weird to be talking about my expanding waistline with the ever present risk that I would have to blog about something not so nice in the event of things going wrong later down the line. So I waited.

This time, however, things are a bit different. I am a bit more open about sharing progress earlier on, having read some heart-wrenching but beautiful stories from other women and knowing that for every one of my friends and colleagues who has had a successful happy pregnancy there is likely to be one who has a sadder story to tell as well.

Also, as mentioned, there's a bit more to tell this time. Twice the amount, in fact. Yes, it is TWINS. TWO. DOUBLE THE FUN.

To say that I was shocked is an understatement. I don't think I have ever felt so absolutely at a loss before in my life, than I was at the moment the doctor moved the scanner over my belly, went 'ohh!' in a surprised voice, and confirmed there were two babies nestling in my womb. With no family history of twins, no fertility drugs or IVF, it wasn't a possibility that had even remotely occurred to me - at 10 weeks pregnant I was at the clinic to get my bloods taken prior to having a nuchal scan at 11.5 weeks, and expecting to have a quick dating scan to confirm the dates and check for a heartbeat. Prior to that moment my only concern had been to see a living being in there (ONE living being, that is) and not to find out I'd had a missed miscarriage.

So there's been some pretty radical readjusting going on in mine and Ali's head space over the past few weeks. It is of course amazing, wonderful news, both babies are currently fine and developing brilliantly and after the nuchal scan today we are a lot more reassured that things are progressing as well as they could be.

But it's also massively scary. A complete curveball for me, who had planned to do everything pretty much the same this time round. Easy pregnancy (hopefully), finish work about 3 or 4 weeks prior to due date, natural birth in the pool in the midwife unit, breastfeed as long as possible, cloth nappies, 9-12 months maternity leave etc etc. But now it's officially a high risk pregnancy, so no pool, no midwife unit, the chances are high they will come earlier therefore stopping work earlier, breastfeeding I am assured will be OK but a bit more challenging! and all the other considerations to come. Not to mention the need to move house asap and change the recently purchased Polo (OK for 2 car seats, limited boot space) for some kind of people carrier.

Symptoms wise it's been a whole lot rougher. Nausea in the afternoons and early evenings is thankfully tailing off now, but absolute bone-shaking tiredness has been present since about 5 or 6 weeks and shows no signs of abating. Spots, yuk. Stuffy nose I can't seem to get rid of. I feel starving all the time! And I am ALREADY enormous and in maternity clothes, whereas I didn't really start showing until about 17 or 18 weeks with Gemma.

So it'll be an interesting next 4, 5 or 6 months depending on how far I get before they decide to make an entry to the world. I'm going to try and do the same as before, which is blog how I am feeling physically, mentally and emotionally throughout the pregnancy. I am 100% sure that after two little ones arrive there won't be time to do more than track their progress along similar lines to what we've done for Gemma. So I feel it's important to have this space to detail some of the journey towards their arrival. Hopefully future posts will be a little more succinct without sounding quite so freaked out by it all!

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